Watching the Phillies game. Cialis (like Viagra) commercial comes on. Liv turns to me and asks, "Mom, how's your blood pressure?"
Me: I don't think I have to worry about that.
I believe in open conversation, but I don't think I should have to explain ED to a kindergartner. Do they really have to have those commercials at 7 pm?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sickies
We're a whole bunch of sickies around here.
On Wednesday night I was in a TON of pain. We read bedtime stories and I went to go rock on the floor. My legs were shaking out of control - like I was being electrocuted. It wasn't cycle time. I thought maybe it was my stomach. Pepto didn't touch the pain. Maybe an ovarian cyst? Who knows? But I couldn't shake the pain. Feeling slightly foolish - like if they tell me it's just gas pains I'm going to want to die - I decided reluctantly to go to the E.R.
We got Liv out of bed and took her to a friend's house. I got a blessing there from Rob and our friend, Adam. I still wasn't too worried, and I was walking just fine. I felt like a crazy person describing my pain. I couldn't pinpoint the source of the pain, I just knew it was my lower stomach. They thought perhaps I had kidney stones. Maybe I was pregnant (as if). So they ran all kinds of tests on me. Turns out - I had appendicitis. I wasn't crazy.
They took out my appendix at 4 am on Thursday morning. I don't remember knocking out (good thing), I do remember having an asthma attack coming out of the anesthesia (bad thing). It's not a good thing when you can see all of the O.R. staff "working on you," including the anesthesiologist. They were panicked. I couldn't breath. I panicked. They told me it was an anxiety asthma attack. I guess I made it out okay. I blacked out after the asthma attack, then woke to find Rob by my side. I was offended that they thought my anxiety had caused asthma, but it's a medical term, I suppose. My BODY was under anxiety and reacted poorly to the meds. Now that I understand, I'm not as offended. ;)
I spent the day on some serious drugs in a post-op sick ward. It was crazy. I could hear everything - hacking, gagging, chucking. I waited all day to eat real food (I was hungry). Their gluten free food was worse than dog food. They didn't have a phone or a tv for me, so I was really bored. But I had my phone! I made a whole bunch of phone calls I don't remember.
I tried to read, but the words were blurry. What's a girl to do? So I got outta there as soon as possible. I've been healing since. Rob's been taking care of me pretty well. I've tried to vacuum (I suppose that's a no-no) and play the piano (can't read blurry notes). Can't really do either. He has to yell at me. Mom and Laura have been yelling at me to relax from afar. I feel loved. Liv is fascinated with my wounds and happy to have an excuse to buy flowers and a CareBear card.
Then on Sunday night, Olivia started puking and pooping. It was awesome. Rob was unusually cranky when he woke up, so I ended up taking care of the puker. I'm hoping I don't start hurling myself. I might break some stitches. So she's been sucking on copious amounts of Gatorade. I've been hiding from her. Once when she was just about to chuck (as in pinching her cheeks closed), Rob yelled, "get your bowl!" but the bowl was right next to me. Scared that she'd puke on me, I threw the metal bowl at her. She was cool, picked it up and chucked in it. Mother of the year.
On Wednesday night I was in a TON of pain. We read bedtime stories and I went to go rock on the floor. My legs were shaking out of control - like I was being electrocuted. It wasn't cycle time. I thought maybe it was my stomach. Pepto didn't touch the pain. Maybe an ovarian cyst? Who knows? But I couldn't shake the pain. Feeling slightly foolish - like if they tell me it's just gas pains I'm going to want to die - I decided reluctantly to go to the E.R.
We got Liv out of bed and took her to a friend's house. I got a blessing there from Rob and our friend, Adam. I still wasn't too worried, and I was walking just fine. I felt like a crazy person describing my pain. I couldn't pinpoint the source of the pain, I just knew it was my lower stomach. They thought perhaps I had kidney stones. Maybe I was pregnant (as if). So they ran all kinds of tests on me. Turns out - I had appendicitis. I wasn't crazy.
They took out my appendix at 4 am on Thursday morning. I don't remember knocking out (good thing), I do remember having an asthma attack coming out of the anesthesia (bad thing). It's not a good thing when you can see all of the O.R. staff "working on you," including the anesthesiologist. They were panicked. I couldn't breath. I panicked. They told me it was an anxiety asthma attack. I guess I made it out okay. I blacked out after the asthma attack, then woke to find Rob by my side. I was offended that they thought my anxiety had caused asthma, but it's a medical term, I suppose. My BODY was under anxiety and reacted poorly to the meds. Now that I understand, I'm not as offended. ;)
I spent the day on some serious drugs in a post-op sick ward. It was crazy. I could hear everything - hacking, gagging, chucking. I waited all day to eat real food (I was hungry). Their gluten free food was worse than dog food. They didn't have a phone or a tv for me, so I was really bored. But I had my phone! I made a whole bunch of phone calls I don't remember.
I tried to read, but the words were blurry. What's a girl to do? So I got outta there as soon as possible. I've been healing since. Rob's been taking care of me pretty well. I've tried to vacuum (I suppose that's a no-no) and play the piano (can't read blurry notes). Can't really do either. He has to yell at me. Mom and Laura have been yelling at me to relax from afar. I feel loved. Liv is fascinated with my wounds and happy to have an excuse to buy flowers and a CareBear card.
Then on Sunday night, Olivia started puking and pooping. It was awesome. Rob was unusually cranky when he woke up, so I ended up taking care of the puker. I'm hoping I don't start hurling myself. I might break some stitches. So she's been sucking on copious amounts of Gatorade. I've been hiding from her. Once when she was just about to chuck (as in pinching her cheeks closed), Rob yelled, "get your bowl!" but the bowl was right next to me. Scared that she'd puke on me, I threw the metal bowl at her. She was cool, picked it up and chucked in it. Mother of the year.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Livisms
Liv: Mom, I saw the most handsome boy at McDonald's. I'm going to marry him.
Me: What is his name?
Liv: I don't know. When we get married does he have to know my name?
Liv: Mom, what are calories?
Me: They're the energy stored in food.
Liv: Like in apples? Apples give us energy?
Me: Yep.
Liv: And noodles?
Me: Yeah.
Liv: I have a strawberry shortcake doll. SNIFFFFFFF. I can SMELL the calories.
Liv: Is Priesthood meeting just for boys?
Me: Yes. Do you have the Priesthood?
Liv: No.
Me (just for kicks): Why do boys have the Priesthood and not girls?
Liv: Because they have to teach the girls...
Me: I can see we have a lot to learn. *smile*
Me: What is his name?
Liv: I don't know. When we get married does he have to know my name?
Liv: Mom, what are calories?
Me: They're the energy stored in food.
Liv: Like in apples? Apples give us energy?
Me: Yep.
Liv: And noodles?
Me: Yeah.
Liv: I have a strawberry shortcake doll. SNIFFFFFFF. I can SMELL the calories.
Liv: Is Priesthood meeting just for boys?
Me: Yes. Do you have the Priesthood?
Liv: No.
Me (just for kicks): Why do boys have the Priesthood and not girls?
Liv: Because they have to teach the girls...
Me: I can see we have a lot to learn. *smile*
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Flip Flop
Ugh. Disregard parts of that last post. Listened to some really cheesy Christian Rock today. Stuff that made me want to gouge my eyes out. I guess I should qualify my previous statement, "I really enjoy SOME Christian Rock Songs." Not all. Heaven knows, not all.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Confessions
1. I recently started listening to K-Love. Yep. That's right. I now listen to Christian rock. cringe. I'm so embarrassed. I hated Christian rock for so many years. I'd turn the channel immediately. The reasons for my initial dislike are 2-fold: I thought it irreverent to be rocking out to Jesus' name and I (more than once) had a born-again Christian friend reprimand me for even thinking I was remotely Christian.
Why has my tune changed? Well, I think it was when I was rocking out in my car and started listening closely to my music. Olivia would say, "Mom, they said the word Jesus in the song." She was right. Unfortunately, it was being used in vain. It was then I decided that it would be better for her to hear songs that refer to Jesus in a positive way.
The other thing is this: I like the uplifting messages and catchy rock music. I think it's a good alternative to what I had been listening to. Ugh. Can I tell you that I can't stand Katie Perry?
Lastly, I'm Christian. Argue semantics all of you want, I believe I am Christian, that Jesus is my Savior, and through Him and His plan we can all be saved. I believe Joseph Smith was a prophet, but I don't worship him. I know that President Thomas Monson is a prophet - and I'm amazed at how God can talk through a man in such a way that it uplifts my soul every time I hear his words. I believe in the authority of the Holy Priesthood that rests upon the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints distinguishing it from many other good churches of the world. I absolutely know the Book of Mormon is true. Reading it along with the Bible, my spiritual horizons have expanded. I feel love. I feel truth. Jesus is the Lord of the Bible and the Book of Mormon, and in order to really know it, you'd have to read it too and learn for yourself. Oh, man, I love that book.
Sooo - in a nutshell - I'm going to listen to Christian music. I am Christian. I'm going to forget the judgments of other well-meaning Christian folk who would consider my faith a cult or heresy. Because I've read the Book of Mormon. I know of its truth by reading it. By learning from its pages. I'm going to assume that many nay-sayers haven't read it with a pure heart and true intent, but instead rely on what someone else has said. What someone else has studied. I read the Bible and I know it to be true from experience. The same is true of the Book of Mormon. And from my new experience, I find Christian rock uplifting. Bring on the teasing. I like it. (Oh, and I also have to forget that most of the Christian rock artists and Radio DJs are also swinging far-right politically. Yeah. I don't want to go there).
2. I fell deeply in love with Trader Joe's dark chocolate caramel wedges. They're a mere $4 a tin, but I can eat them in a few sittings. The store is running low on the supply. I keep reminding the cashiers they need to restock. Let's see if they listen to me.
That's all for tonight. Sincerely, the crazy Mormon lady who listens to Christian rock, popping Trader Joe's crazy expensive chocolate wedges whilst trying to forget that most Christians think she's a heretic. But then again, so do many Mormons. You can't be a good Mormon and vote for Democrats....can you? Maybe I'll save that for another day's confession.
Why has my tune changed? Well, I think it was when I was rocking out in my car and started listening closely to my music. Olivia would say, "Mom, they said the word Jesus in the song." She was right. Unfortunately, it was being used in vain. It was then I decided that it would be better for her to hear songs that refer to Jesus in a positive way.
The other thing is this: I like the uplifting messages and catchy rock music. I think it's a good alternative to what I had been listening to. Ugh. Can I tell you that I can't stand Katie Perry?
Lastly, I'm Christian. Argue semantics all of you want, I believe I am Christian, that Jesus is my Savior, and through Him and His plan we can all be saved. I believe Joseph Smith was a prophet, but I don't worship him. I know that President Thomas Monson is a prophet - and I'm amazed at how God can talk through a man in such a way that it uplifts my soul every time I hear his words. I believe in the authority of the Holy Priesthood that rests upon the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints distinguishing it from many other good churches of the world. I absolutely know the Book of Mormon is true. Reading it along with the Bible, my spiritual horizons have expanded. I feel love. I feel truth. Jesus is the Lord of the Bible and the Book of Mormon, and in order to really know it, you'd have to read it too and learn for yourself. Oh, man, I love that book.
Sooo - in a nutshell - I'm going to listen to Christian music. I am Christian. I'm going to forget the judgments of other well-meaning Christian folk who would consider my faith a cult or heresy. Because I've read the Book of Mormon. I know of its truth by reading it. By learning from its pages. I'm going to assume that many nay-sayers haven't read it with a pure heart and true intent, but instead rely on what someone else has said. What someone else has studied. I read the Bible and I know it to be true from experience. The same is true of the Book of Mormon. And from my new experience, I find Christian rock uplifting. Bring on the teasing. I like it. (Oh, and I also have to forget that most of the Christian rock artists and Radio DJs are also swinging far-right politically. Yeah. I don't want to go there).
2. I fell deeply in love with Trader Joe's dark chocolate caramel wedges. They're a mere $4 a tin, but I can eat them in a few sittings. The store is running low on the supply. I keep reminding the cashiers they need to restock. Let's see if they listen to me.
That's all for tonight. Sincerely, the crazy Mormon lady who listens to Christian rock, popping Trader Joe's crazy expensive chocolate wedges whilst trying to forget that most Christians think she's a heretic. But then again, so do many Mormons. You can't be a good Mormon and vote for Democrats....can you? Maybe I'll save that for another day's confession.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Random
Whoa, it's been awhile, eh? What's going on in the life of the Berrys? Well, a lot, actually.
1. We've decided to look into adoption through LDS social services. I don't know how this is going to go. Please keep us in your prayers. There are a few concerns I have: 1) my nurse practitioner OBGYN seems hesitant to sign off on my infertility. It's only been 3 years of no pregnancy, but she wants me to undergo fertility treatments - treatments I don't want to do. I've always wanted to adopt. I don't feel the absolute need to have another biological child. But she didn't have a good adoption experience (or so she informed me). 2). Adoption, no matter the route, is an expensive endeavor. My firm is up and running with some good income. We're doing everything we can to set aside the necessary funds. It's not easy. We're praying for financial miracles here.
2. I sold my bassoon. (financial miracle, I say yes). At first I was devastated by the thought of selling my bassoon. But when I thought about it: I loved the idea of playing it more than I actually played it. I practiced it diligently for 4 years in HS and took lessons for 2 years in college, from a teacher I really liked. But there came a time when I had to make some decisions. Difficult decisions about how and where I was going to spend my time. It was not with the bassoon. And there it was, sitting there, worth more than a car. It was time to sell it and move on. Check.
3. Olivia started kindergarten. I have pictures around here somewhere. She seems to be right in the middle of the pack academically. I'm okay with that. I fear that her being too old would bore her and watching her struggle to keep pace would be frustrating. Middle is perfect for her right now. We'll continue to monitor her and make decisions as they come. Physically, she's the shrimp of the class.
4. We've decided to try and make a go here in California - permanently. I hesitate in writing this, because I said that about NJ about 2 years ago. But there it is. Perhaps it has to do with the adoption. Perhaps it's just where we need to be. We love the area. We love the people. We're surviving financially. Sure, we could own a mansion in Texas with and here we're in a crappy little apartment, but for now -- it's where we need to be. This was and is a hard decision to make, mostly because of the difficult cost of living issue. We have friends we'd love to live near. I would love to own a nice house. Those plans are on hold.
So there it is: I've been busy. Busy with work. Busy pondering our future and figuring out where we want to be and how we want to grow our little family. Busy watching over Liv. Busy praying and pleading with the Lord that we'll make the right decisions, see miracles and be in the right place, at the right time doing the right things.
1. We've decided to look into adoption through LDS social services. I don't know how this is going to go. Please keep us in your prayers. There are a few concerns I have: 1) my nurse practitioner OBGYN seems hesitant to sign off on my infertility. It's only been 3 years of no pregnancy, but she wants me to undergo fertility treatments - treatments I don't want to do. I've always wanted to adopt. I don't feel the absolute need to have another biological child. But she didn't have a good adoption experience (or so she informed me). 2). Adoption, no matter the route, is an expensive endeavor. My firm is up and running with some good income. We're doing everything we can to set aside the necessary funds. It's not easy. We're praying for financial miracles here.
2. I sold my bassoon. (financial miracle, I say yes). At first I was devastated by the thought of selling my bassoon. But when I thought about it: I loved the idea of playing it more than I actually played it. I practiced it diligently for 4 years in HS and took lessons for 2 years in college, from a teacher I really liked. But there came a time when I had to make some decisions. Difficult decisions about how and where I was going to spend my time. It was not with the bassoon. And there it was, sitting there, worth more than a car. It was time to sell it and move on. Check.
3. Olivia started kindergarten. I have pictures around here somewhere. She seems to be right in the middle of the pack academically. I'm okay with that. I fear that her being too old would bore her and watching her struggle to keep pace would be frustrating. Middle is perfect for her right now. We'll continue to monitor her and make decisions as they come. Physically, she's the shrimp of the class.
4. We've decided to try and make a go here in California - permanently. I hesitate in writing this, because I said that about NJ about 2 years ago. But there it is. Perhaps it has to do with the adoption. Perhaps it's just where we need to be. We love the area. We love the people. We're surviving financially. Sure, we could own a mansion in Texas with and here we're in a crappy little apartment, but for now -- it's where we need to be. This was and is a hard decision to make, mostly because of the difficult cost of living issue. We have friends we'd love to live near. I would love to own a nice house. Those plans are on hold.
So there it is: I've been busy. Busy with work. Busy pondering our future and figuring out where we want to be and how we want to grow our little family. Busy watching over Liv. Busy praying and pleading with the Lord that we'll make the right decisions, see miracles and be in the right place, at the right time doing the right things.
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